The roots of being alone
But that’s not the kind of alone I’d go to great lengths to avoid. It’s the alone at lunch, alone when the teacher says “Pair up!”, the alone of being the 3rd person on the sidewalk.
When I was younger, I’d “settle” for people I didn’t genuinely like, just to avoid being seen as a loner, someone who was incapable of making friends.
Why was this instinct so conditioned into me? Why did being seen alone by my peers sound like such a cruel and unusual punishment? I still can’t figure it out, that hasn’t changed.
What has changed, are my feelings about doing things on my own, and being seen alone. I enjoy it more, and it’s something I look forward to after a grueling, long week.
When else am I going to be able to stop and smell the roses? To stop and appreciate the view for just the right amount of time? To sit in my room, in a comfy shirt and no bra?
Wearing: Forever 21 Tan Top (similar), PacSun Bullhead Denim boyfriend jeans (similar), Vans Classic Slipons, Nordstrom Rack stone bracelet (similar)
Actually, I digress. The things I look forward to doing on my own are entirely possible to do with someone as well. The right person and not just anyone, of course. It’s just something I haven’t found the perfect fit for yet, in our society that is always looking to the next 6 seconds, the next photo, eternally scrolling.
The other day, I had an itch to do something. None of the usual suspects were available, so I decided to go ahead at it alone. And I enjoyed myself, maybe even more so than if I had someone with me.
When you’re alone, all the little things pop out. It’s like someone’s turned up with clarity, the saturation, the brightness. You watch strangers, and mark out small quirks, spinning out a story. You can turn inward, and reflect on happenings. There’s no need to fill space with conversation.
It's something we should all try at one point. So this week, grab a bite to eat alone, and don't stay glued to your phone the whole meal. Sit at the park with a book and a drink. Or for the more daring, see a movie by yourself.
See where it takes you!
Do you like being alone or with others more? What's the best thing to do alone? With someone else?