It's been more than 3 months since I dyed my hair (you can read about the experience here), and although I'm used to it, there are times when I'm reminded other people still aren't.
I've realized how much people judge based on appearance, and how it impacts us in our day to day lives. Somewhat scattered musings to follow.
I've had my hair like this for so long without touching up, it's starting to get icky at the roots (update: I've now redyed it, but it was like this at the time of writing). My friends like to constantly remind me to touch up my roots, and although I know they mean well, it gets a little irritating when I'm asked several times a day when I'll be dying my hair. I'm really fine with the roots look though.
Is this what celebrities feel like when the media scrutinizes their every move? Although I'm nowhere near Kim K on any level, it must be so tiring to be unable to do anything without everyone watching.
In some ways, I miss the anonymity of black hair. I blended in. I could get away more easily with
sleeping in class resting my eyes occasionally, or checking my phone. But as when I dyed my hair, people around me started treating me differently. I wasn't just some Asian with straight As who would rather stay home most of the time than go out.
I want to stress that this post isn't about doing my own thing, and not taking other people's words too seriously. That's a whole nother post. This one is more about how platinum hair changed me.
I had separated myself from the pack, and people saw me for me, not just another girl with black hair.
It's nice, and definitely a change from all my other years in class. I've been complimented often, and every time it makes my day. I've realized how other people's positive words make me feel, and I've made it a point to compliment my friends and strangers more often, instead of just acknowledging how cute their outfits are in my head.
On the flip side, I've had days where I've been stressed about how yellow my hair seemed to be because I hadn't left in the purple shampoo long enough. Platinum is a huge time commitment, and sometimes, I'm a little bit on the lazy side.
My biggest worry is that people will think I'm trying to be Caucasian. I'm not.
Yes, my hair is white, although technically called platinum blonde, a color many Caucasians have. But I love my natural black hair, my monolid eyes (even when I can't figure out how to work eyeliner for them), my almond shaped eyes, my stick straight eyelashes. Ok, maybe stretching it a little on that last one.
The point is, I like who I am, I like my race (which, by the way is an idea created from society, we actually have very little genetic differences). Me having platinum hair has nothing to do with trying to be "white", and all about me wanting to stand out and be me.
It frustrates me to no end when people jump to conclusions about the media having brainwashed me into believing "whiter is better".
For me, appearance matters. A lot. I would never go out in public with anything I'd regret having pictures put on social media of, and I live by the motto, "Dress like you're going to see your ex".
A great outfit makes me feel put together, confident, and able to take on anything.
But at the same time, I envy people who are confident without materialistic objects. They believe in themselves at any state, whether they're dressed to the nines or wearing a stained, unwashed tee. They don't need any confirmation of how amazing they are, simply because they already know.
What are your thoughts on appearance or beauty ideals? Does it impact how you feel about yourself or others? Did you enjoy posts like this, or do you prefer lifestyle posts?
Please let me know in the comments!
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