musings: the importance of friends

A few days ago, I spent 24 hours with one of my friends. We hadn't really seen each other in a few months due to school, but it was really nice and we had a great time together. 

With friends, I think it's important to be friends with people who make you feel great about yourself

While somewhat cliche, I had a friend who I was felt like I was competing with. We did have our moments where we laughed and bonded, but at the end of the day, it was a competition of who got more likes, who had better clothes, even silly things like who studied the least for school. 

It was an unhealthy relationship, and at the time, I was scared of being alone and not having any friends, so I stuck with it. 

While I know there are some people who are ok with and prefer to be alone in social settings, I'm not one of them. I care too much about what people will think of me, and how I'll be perceived - antisocial, awkward, weird, a loner. 

Sometimes I stay friends with people who are toxic because of this, but I'm slowly realizing when I should give it up, and when it's just miscommunication and my high standards. 

After many bridges burned beyond recognition, I've realized this:

1. Let people know when you're feeling a certain way: They can't be expected to know why you're suddenly ignoring them, so speak up and let them know why and what you feel. Simply trying to drop hints is not going to get you anywhere, and will probably have them feeling negative towards you. 

2. Sleep on it before making any rash decisions: I've made many terrible choices because I was caught up in the moment, and decided to act on a whim. I regret all of them, and have lost many friends because of it. Always sleep on it, and you'll find something that seemed to be a deal breaker doesn't seem important at all now. 

3. Be ok with drifting apart: It happens naturally, and although it's hard to accept the fact that your best friend now may be a stranger in a year, it's part of growing up. Don't take it the wrong way and decide to completely wreck your friendship because you're upset (I actually did do this when I was growing up). It'll be really awkward, and karma will make it so that you end up having to see each other again. 

4. Be appreciative of your friends: Notice the little things and thank them for it. It means they really care about you, and they think of you in their everyday life. 

BONUS: Some photos we took at the beach that don't really fit in anywhere else. I was originally hoping for clear skies so we'd get pinks and purples on the water while the sun was setting, but it was foggy, and we ended up with some soft lighting instead. 

I'm actually okay with how they came out, I think I might have still preferred the dramatic lighting, but when the weather is that sunny, there are much more people at the beach. 

We spent the whole day together, and I made a little video of all the things we did. You can watch it here, or down below!

What's your favorite thing about your best friend? Do you have any lessons about friendship? What'd you think of the video - should I make more like it? Let me know in the comments!




p.s. you can see two different outfits I wore on this trip here (classy) and here (casual)!

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